Pow! Wow! Hawaii! 2016

'The Siren'
23ft x 37ft

for Pow! Wow! Hawaii! 2016

located cross the UFC gym (798 Pohukaina St.) 

in Kaka'ako are in Honolulu, Oahu, Hawaii.

(Above image photographed by Brandon Shigeta)

I’m not much of a writer,

but I think it’s important to record my personal experience at Pow! Wow! Hawaii!

What began with feeling anxious, nervous, overwhelmed, and even dreadful,

ended up becoming one of the most beautiful, eye-opening, life changing experiences ever.

click below to read more.

Pow! Wow! centers around a week-long event in Hawaii (now all over the world).
Artists from around the globe come together and celebrate culture, music, and art.

20+ murals created in and around the Kaka’ako area in Oahu, Hawaii, in a span of about 5 days.

I’ve only painted 3 murals, all in the past year, so this was a fairly new endeavor for me.

One at Worcester Art Museum in Massachusetts.

Another small one at Static Medium Studio.

And a third one at Long Beach Museum of Art as a part of Pow! Wow! Long Beach.

All three were indoors and medium in size, so this Hawaii mural was my first outdoor humongous scale.

On a curved wall. 23ft x 37ft. 

I had chosen this wall weeks before (dissecting a Google street view image), so I was aware of the size and shape.

But when I saw it in person, i gasped… in fear.

It was really scary.

I was worried about execution, about the time limit, and the pressure of not wanting to fail.

Thanks to my husband, Rob (who came with me as my assistant), we devised a daily plan.

Still though, we were quite nervous.

We had a couple free days before getting to work,

but we couldn’t really relax and wasn’t able to lay out or swim in the Hawaiian beach, which we can see from our hotel balcony!

(Initial sketch, and color tests.)

(Following photos by Jonas Maon. Thankyou for these beautiful shots.)

Monday. Work begins.

The first challenge was getting the drawing up on the wall.

We knew we couldn’t project it, because of the curve (though it wasn’t actually ‘curved’, but on several flat panels).

So the best bet was to grid the wall in about 3ftx3ft squares using a nifty chalk line tool, and then make the same squares on my paper drawing.

And box by box, I drew rough lines with wax pencil, and then clarified it using a thick grey Montana acrylic marker.

(If you want to know more about using grids to enlarge or duplicate a drawing, google 'Drawing Grid Method' and there is tons of info. It's hard to describe on my own. )

Getting the squares on the wall, was a bit of a technical challenge though, and took longer than planned,
especially because both Rob and I have a fear of heights.

I actually didn't know I had a fear of heights until I was up 20ft (which doesn’t look very high from below) in a scissor lift that wobbled, and felt like it would topple over any second and kill us.

My legs froze up and the slightest movement would send me cursing and squealing.
It’s quite overpowering, that fear.

I forced myself to not look down (obviously) and basically stare at one point on the wall, and concentrate on that point, while humming some ridiculous made up tune to try to calm myself.

So my initial lines, were noticeably wonky and unstable-looking at the top, because I just wanted to get the hell down!

Second day.

Going over the marker lines with paint and brush, while Rob filled in the colors between the lines, using exterior house paint.

I initially thought I’d be able to use markers for the final lines, but the wall surface was too bumpy and wasn’t able to get clean solid crisp lines.

I considered trying cans and spraying the lines, but was advised that, it wouldn’t be possible for a newb like me, since spraying crisp lines require experience and learning muscle memory and such.

So I stuck to what I know best.

The first couple days were the toughest.

We had to find our groove. Learn to devise a system and method to things we were pretty new to.

Line/paint work seemed like it would take ages in the beginning, but as hours went by, I became more fluid and efficient.

I kept the image pretty simple too.

Comprised mostly of lines, limited color palette, and just some details and shading in the face and hands.

The challenge was getting it done.

We worked from about 8am to 8pm for 6 days. A total of 65+ hours.

Half the time the sun was blazing on us.

Sweat pouring down and stinging our eyes.

I kept reapplying sunscreen but ended up with a killer tan just on my limbs (and was embarrassed later at the beach for my super farmer’s tans, where my upper thigh and arms remained white).

We’d take an hour break for lunch, but I felt like a zombie, brain fried from the heat.

(One of the days I had a slight hangover from the night before, and that was the worst. I declared no more hangovers till we get this thing done!)

We ended each work day a couple hours after the sun set.

At night we’d be having dinner, and all we talked about was our wall;
what to do the following day, devising plans on how to work it better.

It’s incredible how focused we were.
All we thought about was the wall, all day all night.
We forgot about thinking about anything else.

We woke up after 5,6 hours of restless sleep, eager to head back and start working.

It was refreshing though, being able to completely zone in on it.

I felt a constant buzz of adrenaline in a way.

Another factor that added to my rush, was working in front of fans/viewers/onlookers.

I tend to get nervous, anti-social, awkward, and have a hard time talking with strangers or performing in front of them.

But I felt so different there and then. 

Social fears and anxiety took the back seat.

I didn’t care if people were watching. 

I was like ‘Who cares if I look a mess, and am stumbling around, and not articulating enough! I came here to do one thing and so be it!’

My guard just went straight down. It just happened! 

Therefore, I got to meet and chat with many people; PowWow crew, artists, locals, and visitors. 

Some knew of my work, some were new to it.

And honestly I was getting lots of positive feedback from so many of them.

I can tell that what I was doing was somehow making these people happy and excited.

I completely fed off of this energy.

I was working and giving, and they were receiving and giving back kind words, and it was this never-ending loop of affirmation and support.

I encountered some beautiful people there, and that is quite priceless.

Thinking of their faces now brings a smile to my face. :)

Drawing and painting her face took all day.
I couldn't get the position and proportions right,
because her face was as tall as me, and being so up close to her, you can't really picture how she looks from afar.
I had to get down often and look at her from a distance, and tweak her parts inch by inch, until she started to feel right.

I used a mixture of house paint and a bit of colored acrylic for the face,
working from light to dark, gradually building up the tones.

Then Friday comes.

Our goal was to finish that night, so we have the full weekend to actually enjoy the island, since we were leaving the following Monday.

I had also said yes to participating in Secret Walls on Saturday night, as part of the Pow! Wow! Finale Party Concert.

(Secret Walls is an event, where artists get into teams, and do a live art battle on a large wall, in front of a crowd, within 90minutes or so, using only black markers/paint/cans.)

I wasn’t sure why I said yes to this, since it’s not in my character to draw in front of an audience. 

But then again I’ve been doing it for the past week on the wall, so... what the hell!

Unable to finish Friday night, Saturday comes.

Now the goal was for real!
I HAD to be done by 5pm tonight, so I have time to freshen up and relax a bit before Secret Walls that started at 7pm.

The last couple hours I found myself running about, frantically scurraging to get it done. That was intense.

Ended up finishing around 6pm.

Champagne toast horraaaay celebration!
Thankyou Andrew and Shawn, from Thinkspace Gallery, who introduced me to the Pow! Wow! guys.

Then we ran to the hotel and ran to the party and Secret Walls stage.

By that time, I was so out of my element, that I didn’t care one bit that hundreds of people were watching us.

I was so overwhelmed with a sense of relief, that I found myself just going with the flow, and enjoying it.
Thank you Secret Walls for having me be a part of this! :D

And so, that concludes work mode!

During the week, I wasn’t able to hangout much with the PowWow artists and crew, due to no-time and exhaustion.
I've only spoken to a few,  just in brief conversations.

So that night, after all was done, it felt incredible to finally be able to not worry about the wall, and just hangout with them. 

We drank. We were merry. We laughed. We danced. 

(Ekundayo, Me, Lauren YS, James Jirat, Woes, Boy Kong)

Rob and I decided to extend our stay in Hawaii a couple more days.

Sunday we went to Lanikai Beach with my long time friend, Dominique, and her husband, who were on their honeymoon.

I have a slight fear of the ocean, so Rob, who had never seen me in the water, was surprised to see me swimming about. 

Again, I just let go of my fears!

And it was a beautiful day. 

I felt euphoric from the fact that we had completed the wall, and was now able to take in the wonder of the island. 

To just exist, and marvel at it’s beauty. 

To be able to feel it’s waters and winds, the sand and rocks beneath our feet, and the vast skies and sea, and the lush of greens.

The following days we continued to adventure!  

Snorkeled in Hanauma Bay and had the best hike of my life in Maunawilli Falls. 

I’m not usually an outdoor rugged type, but I felt like a different person, ready for anything!
I didnt care about getting wet and dirty. I was free!

I walked through the stream with my shoes on, swam in the chilly waterfall river, jumped into it, relished the sudden downpour in the jungle, and explored it’s terrains.

All in the company of beautiful people as well.

Thank you Lauren YS for taking us on an adventure. <3

And on that note,

Thank you to Pow! Wow! Jasper, Kamea, and Jeff, for giving me/us this opportunity.

Thank you to all the crew who made sure we had what we needed and for assisting/helping in all the ways.

Thank you to fellow artists for giving me tips, and for sharing your vision/talent/skills to the world, and for just being rad overall.

Thankyou to photographers and filmmakers for documenting this endeavor, especially since we had no time to do it ourselves.

Thank you to my family and friends for believing in me, and for always giving me love and support.

Thank you to fans and viewers, who took the time to come by, and say hello, and giving me an emotional high five.

Thank you to all in Hawaii for being so generous and welcoming, and for letting me grace your walls.

and

a SUPER Thank you to my husband, Robert Humm.

For sticking with me all the way through from beginning to end.

For helping, assisting, advising, discussing, planning, and tackling this together.

For being my emotional support. 

For encouraging me every day.

Without you this would have been impossible.

We’ve never worked together this way, so it was pretty incredible to know we can take on such a grand project.

We make such a super team, and I am so grateful.

I feel this whole new level of gratitude, respect, and love for you.

Its quite magical. :)

Thank you Robert, for everything. <3

So yes.

Winding up my train of thought here.

In conclusion,

I had an awesome past couple weeks.

It was completely out of the ordinary.

I headed out to do something that was incredibly unfamiliar,

and came out the other end feeling proud and more confident and… happy!

Theres’ a sense of clarity in me now, which I hope to continue. 

What kind of person I want to be, how I want to live, how I want to create.

Goals and dreams I haven’t really thought of in a while.

I often get boggled down with self doubt, self consciousness, and self criticism.

Sometime I don’t like myself. I think I have no skills or talent.
I feel ugly. Or that I lack in personalty or character.

And I close myself off. I get sad.

But I’ve decided I don’t want to live that way any more!

I want to be comfortable and confident in my skin and in my skills.

I want to be more present, at peace, and less stuck in my head.

I want to be more free and open.

I want to speak and express.
I want to laugh and dance.
I want to be happy!!

So, that is my goal. 

That’s my dream.

To be happy (and what ever that entails, from the tough times to the good).

And to experience that happiness with the people I love and encounter along the way.

:) :) :)

Im sounding pretty cheesy now.

But thank you for reading.

Hope we re-connect again soon.

<3